Sunday, May 17, 2009

How My Heart Aches Too...

Over the short timespan of 6 months, one of my closer female friends lost two of her loved ones. I can only imagine how miserable she must be feeling right now. When I met her last Thursday, few words were spoken between the both of us, but from her facial expression, I did not need to hear them to understand her emotions.

I believe this is the first time I ever saw her cry, not to mention so badly, in our 9 years of friendship. It is inevitable for human beings to grieve when a loved one leaves our side; suppressing the tears would definitely make things worse... at least in my opinion.

While she sobbed and recalled her memories of her loved one, plenty of emotions surged within me as well, most notably that of helplessness, since I couldn't provide her with much comfort. The scene in which she said "I really miss her" remains deeply etched in my mind. How I wish I was able to hold her and wipe away those tears of sadness; unfortunately, I wasn't even able to offer her a packet of tissue.

The road ahead remains difficult, at least in the near future, where you have to adapt to quite a bit of changes in your life, but if you are reading this post, I sincerely hope you remain strong to overcome all hurdles. If the need ever arises, don't ever hesitate to seek my assistance. I will always be around.

Saturday, May 09, 2009

Disappointment... and A Lack of Conviction

I am sorely bitter that my planned trip to Japan in August, to attend Comiket 76, has been postponed, most likely till December. Although there will be a winter Comiket held at the end of the year, it is usually of a smaller scale as compared to the one in August.

Warning: I am going to rant in this particular post and obscenities will be used. More importantly, my rant is directed at some people whom I know, so if you are going to get offended, don't read on.

First off, let me start by saying that all my friends are nice people. Otherwise, they wouldn't be my friends in the first place.

Now comes the horrible bit. It is inevitable for human beings to have flaws, but some antics of my friends have definitely gotten on my nerves, especially with regards to our planned trip to Japan.

Being the person that I am, I asked around to see who else is interested in visiting Japan and attending Comiket 76. Although there were some negative replies from a couple of friends, telling me to go ahead without them, either due to potential work commitments or lack of funds, I don't really blame them, since their answer were pretty clear cut.

After some searching and discussion, I thought I had finally found someone to accompany me on my trip. Around 3 weeks ago, we were talking about booking the flight tickets, but until yesterday, nothing has been done. Instead, the entire trip has been postponed to December! Although I am still keen on visiting Japan, a huge portion of my enthusiasm has been lost.

I can't help but feel that I have been played out by a friend. If you aren't interested in the entire trip or unable to do so at this time of the year, just FU*KING say so! Maybe I am jumping to conclusions, but the delay in the booking and purchase of the flight tickets seem to indicate that he wasn't interested. In fact, I doubt he knew which part of Japan he would like to visit, nor the hotels he would like to reside at. I admit the recent Influenza A outbreak may have caused some worry, especially if one were to get quarantined. Still, that does not appear to be the case.

Although I have on many occasions stated that I would require the air tickets soon, if we were to visit Japan in August, since documentary proof of my trip has to be submitted to Mindef and my unit, he has clearly ignored this particular piece of information. Better yet, one of his main reasons for postponing the trip to December would be the cooler weather. Of course, he did add that there will be fellow travellers.

Two words come to mind: FU*KING PU**Y! If you are so damned scared of the sun and humidity, why not use an umbrella while living in Singapore for past 20-odd years? In fact, don't head out at all! When one provides such reasons, it only goes to show that they are less passionate about attending the convention as compared to myself. Maybe he simply wasn't as hardcore an anime and manga otaku as I made him out to be.

I wouldn't say I am not at fault. Since the entire trip was my idea, I should have made a firm stand on all decisions, instead of leaving them to the convenience of others. I did notice his lack of interest, and perhaps I should have voiced it out along the way. Unfortunately, I didn't, leading to the current situation.

There are definitely pros and cons to visiting Japan at different times of the year, one of which would the submission of documents to the authorities. However, one can never tell when I may be called up for military duties again.

In addition, there are a couple of lessons I have learned from the whole saga:
1) Clearly indicate my stand. If I had been more determined, with a stronger sense of conviction, my attendance at Comiket 76 would definitely been confirmed.

2) It is all right to be angry. Recently, I have been trying much harder to put myself into the shoes of others, from the slow driver on the road, all the way to the passengers not moving to the centre carriage of a train. For some reason, I just can't empathize with my friend, since I was so looking forward to the vacation.

Lastly, if you are the friend whom I mentioned in the above post, please kindly take no offence to my harsh words. I sincerely wish that our friendship will remain at the same level as it is. I simply had to vent my anger and frustrations somewhere. Even as I speak, these negative emotions are still present within me... unfortunately.

Friday, May 01, 2009

Has it been 5 Months since my last post!?

Welcome to yet another episode of Gambler's somewhat random "Thoughts for the Day"! It has definitely been a while and I hope the following post will keep you deeply entertained.

Well then, let me start off with my work life before proceeding on to the juicier bits. In the past 5 months, I have gotten to know some of my colleagues a lot better, which helps to improve relationships. Of course, some of my negative traits may have revealed themselves, *cough* gambling habits *cough*, and I doubt they have gone unnoticed. However, we are only human and there are bound to be some faults with each and every one of us. As long as they aren't serious flaws, I assume everything should be fine.

Apart from inter-personal relations within the office, my workload has increased significantly too. Gone are the days where I can ask if anyone else needs any assistance with their various tasks. Although I have been completing my work on time, I am also the type of person who needs the affirmation of others, especially my managers, on my progress and contributions. There hasn't been any complaints so far, which may be a good sign, since some may say "No news is good news". Then again, neither is there any form of commendation... at least not to my knowledge.

There are many things I have yet to learn, but hopefully, opportunities will present themselves, allowing me to grasp them soon enough.

Moving on to my personal and financial life, the Champions League has been both a source and loss of income for my wallet and bank account. I managed to win around $30 from my soccer bets on the results of the quarter-finals, but I also lost 1/3 of it on the semi-final matches held over the past couple of days. I did not expect both Barcelona v Chelsea and Man U v Arsenal to be that low-scoring. Anyway, some of my winnings did go to the poor and needy, notably through the purchase of tissue packets.

A dollar may not mean a lot to us, but this sum of money could have a significant impact on the daily lives of the old, poor and needy. My less than postworthy gesture of kindness reminded me that there is no way I can help everyone, everyday. IF ONLY I HAD MORE POWER... To a certain extent, I understand how the protagonists of the recent Gundam series (Seed, Destiny and 00) feel. Power in the right hands can change the world; at the same time, the possibility of corrupting one remains very real.

I have also been planning for my trip to Japan in August. At the moment, nothing has been confirmed, since there are a couple of obstacles hindering my path. Hopefully, all will turn out fine, allowing me to visit the biggest and most popular convention of them all: Comic Market, commonly known as Comiket to those familiar with the anime and manga scene.

On the topic of Japan, I would think its people are quite a creative and innovative bunch. Such a trait can be clearly seen in their re-invention of certain goods and services. Don't ask my how I came across the following product (photo courtesy of a member on a forum I frequent):



Yes, you got it right; those are mousepads with "boobs", also known as oppai mousepads in the otaku community. Apparently, they are rather popular among certain anime and manga fans. A simple search on hlj.com and hobbysearch revealed that these mousepads cost slightly more than 3000 yen, which would amount to around S$50. The contours of the mousepad supposedly provides wrist support for a computer user, though how effective the product serves its purpose remains to be seen. Nonetheless, the companies which came up with the idea to manufacture these products seem to be making good money...

To further prove my point, the Japanese have recently taken the traditional workout video and re-packaged it with anime scenes and sequences. From the image below, one can easily tell why the DVD is popular among the male audience.



Entitled "Isshou ni Training (with Hinako)", the workout anime is suitable for viewers of all ages. As long as it helps viewers to engage in some form of exercise, I would think it has served its purpose as an useful product.

Last but not least, there is "K-On!", an anime which began airing in Japan recently, focusing on 4 highschool girls and their lives as band members. Apparently, there is an ongoing "K-On!" craze, where sales of guitars are going up in Japan. People have even starting purchasing left-handed guitars, which I didn't think were very popular to begin with.

To end off, I shall leave all of you with an image featuring the K-On girls and their teacher in meido outfits. Enjoy!



P.S. My next post is going to be a f**king rant.

Thursday, January 01, 2009

December: The Month of Giving... and Plenty of Birthday Celebrations

Once again, I apologize for the late update. I promised you people I would post the respective photos we have taken as soon as possible, but my friend "procrastination" prevented me from doing so. Nonetheless, better late than never right?

The first birthday celebration was that of my "Sis", which was brought forward by a week due to our respective busy schedules. Since all of us couldn't decide on a present, our next best alternative was to go for dinner at Crystal Jade Kitchen, where Chai Bak and I split the cost among ourselves. As usual I ended up eating the most, not because I wanted to, but rather, due to the fact that everyone else ordered too much and leaving the food un-eaten would be such a waste. Although we did not take any photos while at the restaurant, we made up for it with those shot at Heeren.


Chai Bak and I, with my usual stupid pose


Cailin and I, this time imitating Ranka from Macross Frontier


Chai Bak and Cailin


Chai Bak and Cailin again, with the Coca-Cola decoration located just outside of Heeren as a background


Cailin and I. My pose keeps getting all the more ridiculous.


Ran out of ideas, so I just stood still.

The following week was just as hectic. Apart from accompanying Hui Shi on her hard disk shopping trip at Funan and dinner at Waraku (Marina Square), I spent Sunday night, all the way till Monday morning, together with Kester and Gan, at Mark's place, killing zombies... or rather, getting killed by them, as Gan would put it. Now that I have started working, I have come to appreciate public holidays all the more, since they provide a break from my weekly working schedule, and also an opportunity to meet up with friends.

Fast forward to 13th Dec, where I organized a birthday celebration cum gathering for the close friends I have made during my national service days, whom coincidentally, fall under the "Singles Club", perhaps with the exception of Gerald. Oops... did I let loose a secret? Jokes aside, everyone, with the exception of Jason Tay, who is still in America, and Luke, who wanted to watch his weekly episode of Star Wars: The Clone War, were present. Before anyone starts flaming my blog, the main reason for Luke's absence was due to the pain in his leg. If I am not wrong, it should be healing properly by now. Aw did not join us for dinner, but graced us with his presence at Swensons, before we dug into the extremely hard yet delicious ice cream cake. However, I would like to apologize for presenting you people with such a simple gift; I had wanted to treat everyone whose birthday falls in December to dinner, but with 5 of you celebrating it together, the cost would be unbearably high, even with Luke and Wong chipping in.


The only and only photo we took for the night. From left to right in a clockwise manner: Marcus, Gerald, Jeffrey, Aw, Wong, myself and Jason Tan. And yes, the table does look rather messy after our meal.

Hopefully, I will be able to organize another of such outing some time soon, with an equally high attendance, if not more.

Since it is already 01 Jan 2009, I would like to wish everyone a Merry New Year! May 2009 be a good, if not excellent, year for all us, filled with good health, peace and prosperity!

P.S. Why do people tend to use the phrase "Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year" instead of "Happy Christmas and a Merry New Year"? Just a question that has been bothering me for a while.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Happy 23rd Birthday Shinobu!

Before I begin on the main theme for the day, I would like to post some update on my previous post. I finally opened up the last of my booster packs and unfortunately, the card which I so desired, featuring Manaka Komaki, wasn't a part of it. I could go on and on about being unlucky, but today isn't the appropriate time for such a rant, lest I spoil the mood of an important birthday celebration.

Yes, you guessed it! Happy 23rd Birthday Shinobu, mai beloved waifu! May all your dreams and wishes come true on this very special day!

How quickly another year has passed. I would like to take the opportunity to thank you for being by my side, rain or shine. You were there to support me when I was struggling with my exam revisions, there to give me encouragement when I applied for a full-time job. When I overspent on anime- and manga-related goods, you trusted me to manage my own finances and neither did you complain about the figurines and mousepads I bought. More importantly, when I was ill (and recently too), you were there to nurse me back to health. Thank you for all that you have done!

Here are some images in which Shinobu does not mind sharing with all of you:



Am I ronery?


Swimming is a good form of exercise.


Meido outfit


Kawaii when angry...


Even cuter when blushing.


"Gambler~~~! I told you not to embarrass me by announcing my birthday on your blog."

Enjoy your day Shinobu!

Well, I hope all of you had a good laugh. Jokes aside, I know Shinobu isn't real, or at least I have yet to meet her, but I do wish that someday, I can find a partner who will care for me in the same way I mentioned above.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Fate Works in the Most Unpredictable Manner

Some things were never meant to be.

As a follow up to my previous post, the above statement could apply not only to relationships, but to all other aspects of life as well. For those who are still single, one may wonder why the other party is already attached or has no feelings for oneself. For those seeking employment, one may bemoan not being given a chance by his/her potential employer. Of course, I am not suggesting that people should use "Fate" as an excuse to give up easily, but there are times when trying hard just does not produce the desired results.

On the other hand, Fate can bring about pleasant surprises at times. On Halloween, I was feeling rather moody after receiving some unexpected news, thanks to my nosey nature. Like they say, "Curiosity killed the cat". While wallowing in self-pity, I decided to open a few more packets of my newly acquired Lycee Cards (credit going to Luke for his help in ordering the product online) to ease my sorrow. All of a sudden, everything became much brighter when I obtained the following card:


A Multi Lucky Card! It is supposedly an ultra-rare card, which can be exchanged for another 5 limited edition cards, although such a service is only available in Japan. I guess it is time for me to start seeking help from my online friends living in that region.

Now that I am on the topic of Lycee, I might as well showcase my other cards. Being a big fan of To Heart 1 and 2, I simply had to buy a booster box of Lycee's Leaf Based Edition 1.


Young Tamaki promo which comes only with the purchase of a booster box.

My other cards, notably those featuring the characters from To Heart 1 and 2, starting from the "rares" all the way to the "commons":











And lastly, an image of the Lycee Leaf Based Edition 1 booster box and my last unopened booster pack. Although I have gotten quite a number of nice cards, my favourite character from To Heart 2, Manaka Komaki, still eludes me. Please let her be in this very last packet! I wouldn't mind another Lucky Card Multi though. :p



In addition, I have received my confirmation letter, so I am officially a full-time employee at my new workplace. Three months has passed rather quickly, but I am glad to have learned many new things and meet plenty of people, some of whom are very nice, which I can call "friends". Hopefully, they see me in the same light too.

Friday, October 31, 2008

"Loneliness Knows Me by Name"

It is close to 4am and even though I have to work later in the morning, I am still in front of my laptop, typing this very post. Is it that important for me to complete this post before I hit dreamland? Actually, it isn't, just that I am in one of my "emo" moods.

I may not be the richest, most handsome, most intelligent or physically fit male, nor am I anywhere near such levels, among the billions found on our planet, but I would like to think I am one of the most sincere people around. Perhaps that may be my only saving grace. Why then, am I unable to find the love of my life, the princess of my dreams, the Shinobu of my fantasies? Is it because I am not trying hard enough, or is it written in the stars for me to spend more lonely nights awake on my bed, pondering over this particular question?

As I look out of my window, staring into the dark, night sky, breathing in the scent of the night breeze, I wonder if my future partner is doing the exact same thing, wishing for true love to appear soon? Whenever I read the highschool mangas lying around my room, I somehow wish that the romance opportunities given to the male protangonist would befall myself too.

To end off, here are the lyrics of "Loneliness Knows Me by Name", performed by Westlife, one of my favourite boybands during my secondary school days:

Loneliness is always looking for a friend
It found me once and it has been around since then
Loneliness is never waiting by the door
It sweeps right through and it will never be ignored
Why, Why was I chosen?
Why am I left without?

The love of my life, the love that I need
The love that they say is in life for free
The love of my dreams, the love that I want
Loneliness knows my by name

Loneliness knows everything I keep inside
My endless thoughts in the silence of the night
Loneliness is the one who made me see
Ain't nobody else who can make a change but me
Why, Why was I chosen?
Why am I left without?

The love of my life, the love that I need
The love that they say is in life for free
The love of my dreams, the love that I want
Loneliness knows my by name

Less is more and that would be the vacant space
The cried out tears and the neverending maze
I have found what only loneliness provides
A strength within knowing I will find

The love of my life, the love that I need
The love that they say is in life for free
The love of my dreams, the love that I want
Loneliness knows my by name

The love of my life, the love that I need
The love that they say is in life for free
The love of my dreams, the love that I want
Loneliness knows my by name